Tuesday 19 October 2010

The pre flight witter

There is probably some kind of multisyllabic syndrome or mental aberration associated with the urge to hurl yourself halfway round the world to live in a country you know next to nowt about, which speaks a language that makes as much sense to you as a drunken walrus with a soar throat gargling the Mongolian national anthem whilst wearing a conveniently walrus shaped spacesuit.  It may have something to do with an extreme defensive response to the fear of abandonment; although if you ask a Freudian it probably has more to do with willies.  Whatever is the root of this malady however, I fear that I am a sufferer.  Unfortunately, as I have a pathological aversion to support groups, benign bearded gentlemen repeating my last statement back at me as if it were a new question rather than just the last thing I said, and well meaning group therapy leaders shoving positive empathy in my face, I will just have to deal with the consequences of this affliction.
And so you find me, dearest readers, on the verge of taking a flight to the city of Bishkek, capital of the Kyrgyz Republic (or Kyrgyzstan if you like stanning).  Now I would like to say that I chose this particular course of action as a result of careful research and clear, logical decision making.   A more accurate description is that I chose this particular course of action because:
a)      I saw the job advert and thought ‘mmm, Kyrgyzstan, I know sweet diddly squat about that country...sounds intriguing’
b)      I liked the fact it was a country with k y and z in the name (if you can name another country with all three letters in its name I will award a prize)
c)       It was advertised as ‘The Switzerland of Central Asia’
Now although I have no great compulsion to go and work in ‘The Switzerland of Europe’ (though I have met a number of Swiss people and they were very fine, if worryingly neat, people); ’The Switzerland of Central Asia’ is to me a highly compelling concept.
I have done a small amount of pre journey complete ignorance reducing however...so here is the distillation of my knowledge of the Kyrgyz Republic:
1)      It has lots of mountains and not much else (hence the Switzerland bit I think)
2)      It is a bloody long way from any sea
3)      It has a big inland lake which is traditionally held to be sacred
4)      Kyrgyz people ride horses, fly falcons and have been known to abide in Yurts
I figure that this should be sufficient information to allow me to blend in seamlessly with the local people. 
So there you go, on Saturday 23rd of October in the year of our lord 2010 I shall be jetting of to a country where my ignorance knows no bounds.  I shall of course be keeping you informed of any cracks that might form in that herculean and monumental ignorance. ..

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